new leaf

Dear Self,

Starting tomorrow, you are being the most positive version of yourself as is humanly possible. You might not feel like it, but it's how it's gonna be from tomorrow onwards. Every day until the 25th starts with a chocolate. How could you possibly be unhappy? We all know that the bad parts of life are just as important as the good parts, that they're not to be ignored. But maybe they're teaching me not to wallow?

Love,

Sara.

Tomorrow I start Josie Long's One Hundred Days project which I'm super excited for. I've set myself the task of writing and reading every day along with doing all the things I always say I will. By that I don't particularly mean work related things. I mean things like keeping a better record of my days, taking more photographs, making scrapbooks, start to play piano more often, join the library and a whole host of other things. They might not seem like much but I think they're important. Inching my way towards becoming a better version of myself.

Lesson of the day - sometimes people will surprise you in the saddest of ways.

bloggy blog blog

Two blogs in a week? What is this madness?

Oh hang on a minute...it's because I have nothing of interest to do.

This blog is pretty much going to list things that I need to do. SORRY.

In no particular order...

• Read Hamlet.
• Bask in awe at Hamlet.
• Wish to see Tennant as Hamlet again.
• Read and note take from critical essays regarding Hamlet.
• Some more basking.
• Write a Medieval Literature essay.
• Re-read Chaucer's Wife of Bath.
• Remember what happens in Chaucer's Wife of Bath. Unlike last time.
• Remember how much you hate Medieval Literature.
• LAUNDRY.
• Read some Shelley poetry.
• Russell Howard's Good News.
• Write some stuff you're never going to show anyone ever because it's far too honest and you're not really that good.
• Eat at some point during all of this.

You know what I miss about home? Being able to listen to music loudly. Basically everyone here does it anyway, but I think I'm probably just too nice a person. OH and SINGING to that ridiculously loud music. And dancing like a flailing fool around my bedroom.

I really don't get why most of these people came to university at all. Really. It just doesn't make sense in my head. I don't mean it in a "I AM SUPERIOR" kind of way. Just in a, if you're not going to go to any of your lectures or do any of your work or couldn't give two flying foxes about your course, then why the hell are you bothering?

I just want something to be excited about. To invest my all into and to have other people that care just as much as I do. Apathy isn't cool and it isn't ironic, it's just plain stupid. This is your LIFE. I know I'm spending a lot of time complaining about stuff, but I don't want to. And when good stuff comes my way (because it will) you'll hear about it. So much more than all of this nonsense.

This, like all things, will pass.

/angst.

time flies

I always promise myself I won't acknowledge how long it's been since I last blogged, but I just can't help myself. It's been AGES hasn't it? I'll refrain from excuses and apologies, I really don't have any good ones. I've been busy doesn't quite cut it.

So what have I been doing you might wonder? Well, in some respects very little. I haven't exactly been flooded with things to do at university. Work is fine, I'm not swamped by it or anything (as much as I'd kind of like to be sometimes. I'm a bizarre person, I know) and lectures/seminars/study groups don't particularly take up very much time. I've been doing a strange amount of exercise and actually feeling really pretty good about it. You don't need to know me very well to know that this is most definitely unusual. But I can't help it. As much as I can't stand that kick aerobics teacher, it feels good to be told to kick and punch the air with everything you've got. It feels even better to go to the gym the next day and not feel like you're dying. Yoga tonight! We got given a free session by the woman in the health shop because we were doing volunteer work. I like it in there in a very middle class, "I can't really afford anything because I'm a student, but one day my cupboards will be full of this yoghurt covered fruit" kind of way.

On another healthy note (though I really couldn't care less that this is healthy. It could be as good for me as a tub of Ben and Jerry's and I'd still do it), I think I'm going walking at midnight at the weekend to see the sunrise. Believe me when I say this simultaneously excites me beyond belief and fills me with an inescapable sadness. I'm silly.

Other things I've been doing with my time include deciding what to do with my future. As peppy and positive this blog may seem, I still don't like it here. These fleeting excursions are not enough to make up for the complete absence of life in this place. I don't think it's just me expecting too much of university, it's that I'm not in the right place. I think I'd forever regret it if I didn't at least try for something better.

NaNoWriMo...argh.

Julia Nunes. She's on Spotify but I implore you to YouTube her first. You'll love her.