new year(ish) resolution

So on my birthday I made a resolution. It was pretty simple really. To make my 18th year on this little planet my best year yet.

"Grand!" you might be thinking! "She'd never be able to give up chocolate or anything that required any kind of will power/dedication, therefore this is the perfect solution!"

Except here's the thing...I don't really know HOW to make this my best year yet.

I do have a few ideas though. Ones that I need to stop playing around with in my mind and make happen. Which I am doing, albeit slowly.

What seems like an age ago, I wrote these two ridiculous essay things (to be found near the beginning of this blog if you're really that interested) about risk taking. Namely how I needed to do more of it. Finally, months later, I seem to be actually doing some of that. Granted it's only little things right now, but it's a start. I constantly surprise myself by saying things I wouldn't normally say (though of course would like to) and doing things with less hesitation. Sounds stupid I know, but each and every one of them is like a mini victory for me. And if you can't take delight in the small things (pretty sure I wrote a blog with that exact title...lots of self referencing today) then you're just going to spend most of your time waiting for something big and exciting to happen. I don't know about you, but I don't really want to rest all of my happiness on monumental moments that will ultimately (as all things do) pass. Waiting becomes tiresome after a while.

I don't want days where I'm just sat around, waiting for something to happen, accomplishing nothing. This is starting to sound like some kind of preemptive midlife crisis. I can assure you it's not. I'm just trying to get better at living in the now instead of the past and the future. I want to be challenged.

Honestly, if you can think of anything to help me with this new initiative then I'd appreciate it.

I love pretending I actually have an audience.