day one

So every now and then I'll enter a writing competition (I'm yet to win anything...this fact will be ignored). The latest one was to write a complaint letter about anything you like. Mine was on a somewhat popular (and thus controversial) topic. The funny thing about it is, one person has commented. Complaining that I'm complaining. Oh, Internet, you do amuse me.

Here it is for your reading pleasure:

Dear Twilight Fans,

I’m so good to you normally. When you’re all crowded around me fervently debating the pros and cons of Team Edward and Team Jacob, I grit my teeth and internally declare my love for Team Jo (J.K.Rowling for all you deprived Muggles). I bite my tongue whenever I feel the urge to yell that glitter glue doesn’t equate to vampire or that stalking isn’t the same as love.

But I’ve been quiet too long. I need an outlet. Even a passive aggressive one such as this.

What annoys me about Twilight, more than the constant barrage of information we get about it, more than the screaming pre-teens, more than the complete lack of literary value the books possess, is how Meyer has feebly attempted at aligning herself with greatness.

The Romeo and Juliet allusion? It might just be me, but I don’t think good old Bill quite had broody vamps in mind when he conjured up his two young lovers. Bella likes Wuthering Heights does she? Fine. I can cope with that. What I cannot cope with is that now Charlotte Brontë’s classic is packaged up on our shelves to look like it’s a part of the saga. As if Brontë’s work needs the Twilight seal of approval.

Your series lacks life (excuse the pun), it lacks imagination and it most certainly lacks plot.

I could of course go on, but nothing I say will change your minds. So for now, I’ll continue to keep my mouth shut when you swoon over Robert Pattinson’s gravity defying hair and flour based complexion. He will, after all, always be Cedric Diggory in my heart. We got him first. Remember that.

Signed,

A disgruntled Harry Potter devotee.

In case anyone is remotely interested, I failed NaNoWriMo quite spectacularly. However I'm going to keep writing because I actually quite like where the novel's going. The characters are starting to feel alive and I've never had that before. It's kind of amazing.

Reading - The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Oh, and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J. K. Rowling.